August 20, 2007

Tomorrow is Seattle's local primary election. I received a pamphlet in the mail but hadn't intended to read it or vote -- the election is only a primary, and there hasn't been much about it in the local media anyway. I thumbed through the pamphlet anyway and found one of the most bizarre challengers ever. Facing off against Dow Constantine for the Democratic nomination for County Council District No. 8 is Goodspaceguy Nelson. I can't stop laughing as I imagine his official statement read in the quavering voice of Tim Calhoun, Will Forte's surreal politician character from Saturday Night Live:

To glorify King County, ask that governments make it easier to make movies here. Let’s raise the living standard by getting a larger percentage of our people working. Employment cures many problems and helps some homeless people buy vans.

Governments should make showers available to our people and should give employment as helpers to minimum wage applicants. We could then open our libraries more and investigate more crimes.…

Goodspaceguy studied at universities in Germany, Sweden, and America. Goodspaceguy earned a university Master’s and a Bachelor’s degree. Please keep campaign contributions under $25.

So if you want some homeless people to buy vans, more movies filmed in King County, and policemen solving crimes in libraries, send $24.99 or less to 10219 9th Ave. S., Seattle, WA 98168.

By the way, I'm pretty sure that both of the photos on that page are from the DuMont Network's 1951 programming guide, and that everything on that page of my guide was made up as a ruse to get people interested in local primaries.

Update: Here's a short video illustrating some of Goodspaceguy's beliefs: