Deprogramming from Work
Three months into my career break, I’ve stopped having dreams involving work. It’s a good sign that I’m mentally shifting away, however slowly, from a work-first mentality.
It’s very common to start a conversation with some new acquaintance by asking, “What do you do for work?” I still fall into this trap myself, even though experts advise against it, and even though my own answer to it usually comes out like, “I was a software developer for 22 years, and now I’m on a break.” Instead of identifying myself based on work that earns me money, I’m identifying myself based on work I used to do, which isn’t much better. Times have changed. I haven’t written any software since I started my career break. I’m not seriously talking with anyone about new work. I’ve been traveling, volunteering, and improving my health and fitness.
My calendar still has plenty of things for me to do. Back in January, I joined a gym that primarily offers intense, one-hour workout classes that I’ve been doing two or three times a week. A lot of its activities, including boxing training, ab workouts, and soon, running practice, are things that I’m completely unskilled at, but with repetition and coaching, I am confident I can get better. Poor weather and travel has reduced the time I’ve spent biking around town, but I’ve rented bikes on a couple of my trips, and indoor workouts have kept me active during the dark and wet season in Seattle. I’ve been making plans with friends and family, including in other cities I’ve been visiting. Volunteer events, including those that would have been during my workday last year, are now easier to say “yes” to. Doing shopping and sightseeing activities, such as viewing the famously popular cherry blossom trees at the University of Washington Quad, go on my calendar, too. During downtime, I still make time to read, watch videos, and brush up on my chess game, which is pretty weak after years of neglect. Duolingo and The New York Times’s daily word games help to keep my mind active, too. I have enough time left in the day to take active care of my mental and physical health, including regular meditations on my own and counseling sessions via videoconference.
When I learn a new skill, or I improve a weak or forgotten skill, I’m not thinking about how it might help my career; I’m doing things for my own benefit and enjoyment first. Despite all the pessimistic predictions about AI taking over skilled jobs, I’m still getting regular contacts from recruiters about software work, and I’m not taking any of them seriously right now.
Last year, I was warned by multiple people that going without a job might lead to more loneliness. Ironically, the only mainstream social network I actively use is LinkedIn; I enjoy seeing what my friends and former coworkers are doing, and it provides a free and broad way to keep plugging my book, Personal Finance for People in Tech. Going to an office provided me with plenty of opportunities for familiar, low-stakes social engagement, including casual chats with people at the coffee maker or on an elevator ride. Without a job that puts me into a shared space, and without the drumbeat of social media activity, conversations are now intentional; I have fewer of them, and I want them to be more personal and meaningful.
I’ve enjoyed the three warm-weather trips I’ve done this past winter. Although I’ve booked some more out-of-town trips later this year, I’ve been appreciating that during March, I’m not doing any major trips, and I can spend more time close to home. This lets me take care of some small projects at home, and it keeps me better connected to local events and groups. I’ve been planning most of my trips for a couple of weeks or less, similar to what I did when I was working. Longer trips might save me money on accommodation per night, but too much travel can be exhausting; I like being at home, too. On this career break, I can really test whether I want to do something: with fewer constraints on my time, I can test my own motivation, without external constraints such as corporate policies.
I’m feeling good as my career break continues. My fixed-income redemption ladder is insulating me against the recent downturn in the stock market. As the weather warms up, I’m looking forward to more relaxation and more personal improvement.